An Open Plea to Women

Attention, Women of the World:

I love you dearly; I really do. Even when you piss me off, I easily forgive you, because you melt my heart. Just looking at you makes me happy; even the ones who eat too much and then try to wear spandex belly shirts and hip-huggers. I'm so glad you're here; without you, well, we wouldn't be here either.

And this is my point.
I need you to help me -- us, actually. All of us, yourselves included. because it's all in your hands. Are you ready? OK, here goes...

Women are fucking-up evolution. Yes, you are.
Neanderthals were supposed to die out, but they haven't. Why? Because you keep breeding with them.

Everything you complain about; all the stuff men do that pisses you off and messes up the world at large -- you know the stuff I'm talking about -- all the shit you say is wrong with "men" in general: smacking you around, drinking too much, cheating on you with your friends, leaving the toilet seat up, blowing up villages full of children, etc. This is because you keep choosing Fuckheads to breed with. And their kids can't help but have some Fuckhead in them, so when your sons grow up to be Fuckheads, you don't understand. You ask yourself, "how could this happen?"

But you keep choosing Neanderthal Fuckheads to sleep with, and many of you then get pregnant by them, and thus the cycle is perpetuated. Endlessly. And then you blame ALL of us. As if it were ALL men who caused you grief, instead of just your CHOICES in men.

So, my friends -- my dear, female friends, just stop.
Please, just STOP.

Thank you.

* * *