Intergalactose Intolerant
Well, tuesday night I did something I swore I would never do again.
Yes, I sat through another kindergarten masturbation session by George Lucas. A friend of mine is well-connected enough to have gotten me a free pass to a sneak preview of the latest 'Star Wars' episode, and since I am particularly fond of this friend, and since I am rarely known to turn down anything with the word FREE in it, I decided to go.
Besides, technically what I had said was that George Lucas would never get any more of my money -- and technically he didn't. So I guess I slide by on this one, yes?
Anyway, so I went. And I saw it. And it was about what I had expected. More of the same. Better than the worst of them -- well, I refused to see Episode II after Ep I made me pine away over the hours lost and money spent. It's the hours, mostly. I mean, that's a couple of hours of my life that I will NEVER get back. Lucas stole them from me, like a succubus. But I guess I must maintain SOME responsibility, since I continued to see them of my own free will up through that point.
The original 'Star Wars' was cool, if only because I was only 15 and not so sophisticated (or, as some would say, jaded), and besides, the special-effects were better than anything before it, with the exception (in MY opinion) of the work of Ray Harryhausen. Now THERE was a genius before his time who went largely unappreciated, though prolifically employed at least.
Yeah I still love stop-motion animation, especially when it's done so well. There's a quality, an energy to the work that gets diluted by the sometimes too-slick, too-smooth, intricate but sterile ethic of computer graphics. Maybe it's just the knowledge that someone so carefully hand-crafted the sculpted models and carefully bent them into position over thousands of frames of camera work, taking hundreds of hours of precise labor and shaping something inanimate into a living, organic experience for the viewer. I can certainly appreciate beautiful, complex and realistic computer-generated imagery, especially given the amazing things one can create with such powerful tools -- but I appreciate it in a different way.
OK, so enough blabbering about that. 'Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith,' as 'Star Wars' flicks go, isn't horrid. That is to say: considering the syrupy, cliche-ridden Happy Meal and Action Figure commercials that have passed for 'films' in the series, this one is decidedly less annoying. The buzz on the street has been that it's too 'dark' for kids, which is rather ridiculous if you ask me. It's dark in a campy, 'Space Ghost' kinda way, rather than, say, a 'Silence of the Lambs' way. Anyway, if you want to know just exactly what's too 'dark' for kids, just turn on the news. What's going on in the world is way scarier than ANY movie, even the ones with that 'Jason' dude in them.
But I digress.
The movie continues telling the backstory to the first movie, as if George Lucas had this burning need to wax etymological about the supposed origins of all his characters. It's as if he picked up Tolkein one day and said "Holy Christ! I wanna be like this guy!" and decided to retroactively create a history to explain how a complex series of events shaped the rather trite, simplistic universe of his first movies. Kinda putting the Falcon before the Millenium, if you ask me. I mean, Tolkein was a creative genius; Lucas is, um, not. A marketing genius with lots more money than me? Certainly. But wealth doesn't make Donald Trump anybody's hair model, and neither does it make George Lucas talented. It just allows him the luxury of THINKING he is. Tolkein came up with a whole world, developing it more and more and growing branches of complexity further and further outward, using well-chosen words and intricate hand drawings of maps and such. Lucas is obsessed with legitimizing his pop mythology by giving it a history that we're supposed to believe was in his mind when he got (extremely) lucky with the original movie. He seems to consider himself a brilliant artist, and instead of hiring screenwriters and directors with actual skill, he uses his considerable following as proof to himself that his inane, stilted dialog, weak-ass plots, contrived character names and just plain bad directing are in fact pure brilliance. But everybody over twelve knows it's the special effects that separate all his films from being as intolerable as infomercials.
The original 'Star Wars' was no great piece of cinematic art. The dialog, the script, the acting were all mediocre at best; one step up from the old-time serials the film was meant to emulate. But it was an achievement in its use of realistic special effects, and it visually combined a futuristic world with the grit of rust and entropy in a believable way, unlike the sterile, clean futurism depicted in previous 'space' movies like '2001: A Space Odyssey' (which, this being 2005, feels a little weird to mention). 'Star Wars' was a cross between 'Buck Rogers' and "Roy Rogers' -- a western shoot-'em-up in space. And, at 15 years old, that appealed to me. I don't know if it would have if I'd been twice that age, but maybe it just might have. I know it was the right kind of flick at the right time, at least for my generation. It sure beat crap like 'Logan's Run' -- try watching that one sometime.
But just because Lucas managed to create an icon in spite of himself with the first movie didn't mean his shit didn't stink. And in my humble opinion, we've been smelling it ever since. The man with the Bob's BigBoy haircut and the even bigger bankroll is the cinematic equivalent of George Bush (with his 'political capital' to spend even though half the country wants his head on a TV tray). When will this man stop? Well, when we stop paying for his delusions. And I could be talking about either George here.
Speaking of which, about the only redeeming quality of 'Episode III' was the inclusion of some almost charmingly innocent jabs at our political system in its current incarnation. The jabs are gentle, though from a certain perspective, quite pointed -- It's almost as if Lucas didn't even mean them to be timely, but universal -- and yet they are very, very timely.
The Chancellor Palpatine, in the earlier-but-set-later films more of an evil, all-pervading, almost spiritual presence, here is a manipulative politician, with powers he hides until the right moment, and then springs a rather nebulously-explained trap on the 'Council' that represents 'democracy' (a word uttered much more in this one than in past episodes). The Council, made up of Jedi masters, is supposed to be a balancing force to ensure the FREEDOM of the galaxy, which was once apparently ruled by ruthless Sith overlords until the Jedi overthrew them. Palpatine, however, is secretly a Sith Lord himself, and is able, through his trickery and the ridiculously effortless manipulation of his highly-trained-yet-still-retarded apprentice Hayden Christiansen (as the young Anakin Skywaker AKA Darth Vader), to seize control of the entire galaxy and turn it into a Sith empire. He does this single-handedly, with Vader as his main hit man, and with thousands of formerly loyal-to-the-Council soldiers who suddenly become unquestioningly loyal to the Chancellor-turned-Emperor.
In writing it doesn't really translate, but in the film there are several moments that feel eerily like the Republican/Fascist takeover that is happening all around us in this country. There are several pieces of dialog -- not GREAT pieces, as I don't thing Lucas could write a great piece of dialog to save his life -- but pieces, nonetheless, that seem to be decrying our loss of checks and balances, and the threats to our freedom that are being touted as necessary due to the greater threats of war. In the film, the war is essentially of the Emperor's making, so that he could exploit the situation and acquire absolute power. Hmmm...sounds familiar. Not new, certainly; it happens all the time, and has for millenia. But since it's happening again, here, now, and in a manner that is very close to the heart of the story of the film, one wonders if Lucas is starting to take a stand against the excesses of the other George. We can only hope. Because if a guy is going to have all that money, all those resources, and all that effortless box office draw, the least he can do is have a worthwhile message -- even if that message is written and acted like a fourth-grade Thanksgiving play. It's better than just blowing stuff up -- BOTH Georges desperately need to learn the futility of that.
* * *
Yes, I sat through another kindergarten masturbation session by George Lucas. A friend of mine is well-connected enough to have gotten me a free pass to a sneak preview of the latest 'Star Wars' episode, and since I am particularly fond of this friend, and since I am rarely known to turn down anything with the word FREE in it, I decided to go.
Besides, technically what I had said was that George Lucas would never get any more of my money -- and technically he didn't. So I guess I slide by on this one, yes?
Anyway, so I went. And I saw it. And it was about what I had expected. More of the same. Better than the worst of them -- well, I refused to see Episode II after Ep I made me pine away over the hours lost and money spent. It's the hours, mostly. I mean, that's a couple of hours of my life that I will NEVER get back. Lucas stole them from me, like a succubus. But I guess I must maintain SOME responsibility, since I continued to see them of my own free will up through that point.
The original 'Star Wars' was cool, if only because I was only 15 and not so sophisticated (or, as some would say, jaded), and besides, the special-effects were better than anything before it, with the exception (in MY opinion) of the work of Ray Harryhausen. Now THERE was a genius before his time who went largely unappreciated, though prolifically employed at least.
Yeah I still love stop-motion animation, especially when it's done so well. There's a quality, an energy to the work that gets diluted by the sometimes too-slick, too-smooth, intricate but sterile ethic of computer graphics. Maybe it's just the knowledge that someone so carefully hand-crafted the sculpted models and carefully bent them into position over thousands of frames of camera work, taking hundreds of hours of precise labor and shaping something inanimate into a living, organic experience for the viewer. I can certainly appreciate beautiful, complex and realistic computer-generated imagery, especially given the amazing things one can create with such powerful tools -- but I appreciate it in a different way.
OK, so enough blabbering about that. 'Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith,' as 'Star Wars' flicks go, isn't horrid. That is to say: considering the syrupy, cliche-ridden Happy Meal and Action Figure commercials that have passed for 'films' in the series, this one is decidedly less annoying. The buzz on the street has been that it's too 'dark' for kids, which is rather ridiculous if you ask me. It's dark in a campy, 'Space Ghost' kinda way, rather than, say, a 'Silence of the Lambs' way. Anyway, if you want to know just exactly what's too 'dark' for kids, just turn on the news. What's going on in the world is way scarier than ANY movie, even the ones with that 'Jason' dude in them.
But I digress.
The movie continues telling the backstory to the first movie, as if George Lucas had this burning need to wax etymological about the supposed origins of all his characters. It's as if he picked up Tolkein one day and said "Holy Christ! I wanna be like this guy!" and decided to retroactively create a history to explain how a complex series of events shaped the rather trite, simplistic universe of his first movies. Kinda putting the Falcon before the Millenium, if you ask me. I mean, Tolkein was a creative genius; Lucas is, um, not. A marketing genius with lots more money than me? Certainly. But wealth doesn't make Donald Trump anybody's hair model, and neither does it make George Lucas talented. It just allows him the luxury of THINKING he is. Tolkein came up with a whole world, developing it more and more and growing branches of complexity further and further outward, using well-chosen words and intricate hand drawings of maps and such. Lucas is obsessed with legitimizing his pop mythology by giving it a history that we're supposed to believe was in his mind when he got (extremely) lucky with the original movie. He seems to consider himself a brilliant artist, and instead of hiring screenwriters and directors with actual skill, he uses his considerable following as proof to himself that his inane, stilted dialog, weak-ass plots, contrived character names and just plain bad directing are in fact pure brilliance. But everybody over twelve knows it's the special effects that separate all his films from being as intolerable as infomercials.
The original 'Star Wars' was no great piece of cinematic art. The dialog, the script, the acting were all mediocre at best; one step up from the old-time serials the film was meant to emulate. But it was an achievement in its use of realistic special effects, and it visually combined a futuristic world with the grit of rust and entropy in a believable way, unlike the sterile, clean futurism depicted in previous 'space' movies like '2001: A Space Odyssey' (which, this being 2005, feels a little weird to mention). 'Star Wars' was a cross between 'Buck Rogers' and "Roy Rogers' -- a western shoot-'em-up in space. And, at 15 years old, that appealed to me. I don't know if it would have if I'd been twice that age, but maybe it just might have. I know it was the right kind of flick at the right time, at least for my generation. It sure beat crap like 'Logan's Run' -- try watching that one sometime.
But just because Lucas managed to create an icon in spite of himself with the first movie didn't mean his shit didn't stink. And in my humble opinion, we've been smelling it ever since. The man with the Bob's BigBoy haircut and the even bigger bankroll is the cinematic equivalent of George Bush (with his 'political capital' to spend even though half the country wants his head on a TV tray). When will this man stop? Well, when we stop paying for his delusions. And I could be talking about either George here.
Speaking of which, about the only redeeming quality of 'Episode III' was the inclusion of some almost charmingly innocent jabs at our political system in its current incarnation. The jabs are gentle, though from a certain perspective, quite pointed -- It's almost as if Lucas didn't even mean them to be timely, but universal -- and yet they are very, very timely.
The Chancellor Palpatine, in the earlier-but-set-later films more of an evil, all-pervading, almost spiritual presence, here is a manipulative politician, with powers he hides until the right moment, and then springs a rather nebulously-explained trap on the 'Council' that represents 'democracy' (a word uttered much more in this one than in past episodes). The Council, made up of Jedi masters, is supposed to be a balancing force to ensure the FREEDOM of the galaxy, which was once apparently ruled by ruthless Sith overlords until the Jedi overthrew them. Palpatine, however, is secretly a Sith Lord himself, and is able, through his trickery and the ridiculously effortless manipulation of his highly-trained-yet-still-retarded apprentice Hayden Christiansen (as the young Anakin Skywaker AKA Darth Vader), to seize control of the entire galaxy and turn it into a Sith empire. He does this single-handedly, with Vader as his main hit man, and with thousands of formerly loyal-to-the-Council soldiers who suddenly become unquestioningly loyal to the Chancellor-turned-Emperor.
In writing it doesn't really translate, but in the film there are several moments that feel eerily like the Republican/Fascist takeover that is happening all around us in this country. There are several pieces of dialog -- not GREAT pieces, as I don't thing Lucas could write a great piece of dialog to save his life -- but pieces, nonetheless, that seem to be decrying our loss of checks and balances, and the threats to our freedom that are being touted as necessary due to the greater threats of war. In the film, the war is essentially of the Emperor's making, so that he could exploit the situation and acquire absolute power. Hmmm...sounds familiar. Not new, certainly; it happens all the time, and has for millenia. But since it's happening again, here, now, and in a manner that is very close to the heart of the story of the film, one wonders if Lucas is starting to take a stand against the excesses of the other George. We can only hope. Because if a guy is going to have all that money, all those resources, and all that effortless box office draw, the least he can do is have a worthwhile message -- even if that message is written and acted like a fourth-grade Thanksgiving play. It's better than just blowing stuff up -- BOTH Georges desperately need to learn the futility of that.
* * *
posted by brioSphere at 6:06 PM
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